Chad Hinkle

PEOPLE DECODER, PROUD DAD OF A DAUGHTER WITH AUTISM

I HELP PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH AUTISM LIVE THEIR BEST LIVES SO THEY CAN BE THE BEST ADVOCATE, GUIDE, AND INFLUENCE FOR THEIR CHILD

"WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?"

My wife said this to me as we were sitting in our car after meeting with our daughter's doctor.
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We were told our daughter was on the autistic spectrum. 

We had been given a treatment plan. 

We were now parents of a child with autism.

What were we going to do?  

We felt lost and alone.
We started searching for answers.

We met with doctors, therapists, read books, joined support groups, and talked to other parents of kids on the spectrum.

We were shocked by the amount of hopelessness and heartache felt by many people in this community.

Most of the people we talked to said that anger, fear, and grief were a normal part of their daily lives.

But, we also met people who had found ways to push past these feelings and had become the best advocates, guides, and influences for their child.  

These people became our lifeline and hope for a bright future for us, our daughter, and our family. 

"It hurts because they [parents of a child with autism] don't have enough expectations for the kids." Dr. Temple Grandin

"I rely on you. All that I might become won't happen without you as my foundation." Ellen Notbohm, author Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew

​In this small group of people, we found parents who had found a way to create the skills and tools to grow into a solid foundation for themselves, their child, and their family.

This was a breakthrough for us. 

Here was proof that the journey that lay ahead was not one that has to be filled with hopelessness.

The more I learned about this small group of parents, the more I realized how closely they matched a group of people I had been studying for over a decade.

My personal and professional lives were suddenly blending together.

A BLENDING OF MY TWO WORLDS
I am a psychological scientist.

I am hired by companies to "decode" their customers to help make their marketing better.

One group of people, Resilients ™, have always been my favorite to research.

Each of these women and men grew stronger while going through extremely difficult experiences. 

​I have interviewed hundreds of Resilients and have learned the skills and tools they used to make themselves stronger so they could master the challenges they faced.

Resilients are people like Sheryl Sandburg who, after losing her husband, has found a way to grow into the best version of herself:
I put all the skills and tools I learned from Resilients together, combined them with the latest brain science, and made something I called The Resilient Pathway™.  

I had been using The Resilient Pathway to help people going through their own difficulties and it was also being used in therapy by mental health professionals with their patients.

I realized that the skills and tools of The Resilient Pathway were the same skills and tools this small group of parents was using to grow stronger.

My wife and I started using The Resilient Pathway to help us follow the same path that was being taken by this small group of people.

This has not been easy. It is difficult, slow work.

It has taken a deep commitment to learn these skills and tools and to start using them in our daily lives.

The strength and resiliency we have developed, though, are worth the effort.

​Choosing to take this pathway has taught us an extremely difficult to accept truth: we have to work on ourselves as much - if not more - than we work with our daughter if she is going to reach her reach her highest potential.​​

WE, PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH AUTISM, HAVE TO WORK ON OURSELVES AS MUCH - IF NOT MORE - THAN WE WORK ON
OUR CHILDREN

You know the flight attendants' saying of "put your oxygen mask on first before putting the mask on your child"?

The same rule applies to us as the parents of a child with autism.

We will never be able to help our children reach their highest potential if we can't figure out a way to get past our own anger, fear, and grief.

This means we have to work on ourselves as much - if not more - then we work with our children.

This is exactly the opposite of what we feel like we should do. 

This feeling is wrong.

What our children need, more than anything else, is for us to be at our best.

Our influence, more than any therapy, school, or medication, is the biggest predictor of their future success.

It is an extremely heavy burden.

But it, unlike many things on this journey, is totally under our control.
THE RESILIENT PATHWAY & MY OFFER TO HELP YOU
I decided to create this website because I see a huge need for these skills and tools within the autism community.

I refuse to accept that anyone should live in anger, fear, grief, and hopelessness. 

You deserve better. Even more importantly: your child deserves better.

The Resilient Pathway is my offer to help you live your best life and become the best advocate, guide, and influence for your child.

Building these skills and tools into your life is difficult. There are no quick fixes and no shortcuts. You just have to do the work.

It takes time, energy, and commitment.

But, once you learn them, you will be able to use these skills and tools for the rest of your life.

If this is something you feel like you need to do, I will gladly be by your side every step of the way.

THE BASICS OF THE RESILIENT PATHWAY

  • Learning The Resilient Pathway takes two months. Making a new habit takes 60 days or two months. Once you've used these skills and tools for these 60 days, they will become habits that now support you in your daily life.

  • I will meet with you via Skype or phone once a week for each of these two months. We will talk about your progress during the previous week, create strategies to deal with the challenges being faced, and we will go over the next part of the pathway for you to learn and use during the week.

  • Everything on The Resilient Pathway is principle-based. So: there is no "right" way to learn/use any of these skills and tools.  I will tailor each of the calls and principles to fit your specific needs.      ​​​

Specific Habits You Will Create On The Resilient Pathway To Help You Be Your Best

  • Build a foundation of strength and resiliency. This is the most important habit you will build. It gives you the energy to grow, the ability to adapt, and a soft place to fall when you become overwhelmed.   

  • Build a core support system. No one does this alone. You need help. The people in your core support system are critical to your growth. Identifying who to have in your support system and creating trusting, honest relationships will make your entire life easier and help you grow faster. 
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  • Become mentally and physically healthier. You are no good to yourself or your child if you are mentally and physically depleted. Small changes in your mental and physical health can lead to huge increases in your overall energy levels, focus, and strength. 

  • Develop realistic optimism.  A realistic optimist is someone who looks on the bright side of life but has a realistic grasp on the present and what to expect in the future. Learning how to do this will distance you from anger, fear, and grief and help you better face the challenges facing you and your child

  • Learn how to quickly get back up and keep going after a fall. Some challenges are so large that they will emotionally knock you down. There are specific steps to take when this happens that will help you quickly stand back up, brush yourself off, and jump back into your life. 

  • Live with a feeling of hope for the future. Our brains are wired to pay more attention to the negative than the positive parts of life. Rewiring this tendency in the brain leads to a shift in perception that helps you be more aware of the positive parts of life creating hope and reducing anger, grief, and fear.

  • Create recharge moments throughout your day. Your body and brain need time during the day to recharge and prepare for the next challenge. Building small windows of time in which you give your body and brain the space to do this are essential for you to be at your best. This short five minutes of scientifically-backed exercises are easy to learn and will quickly become a normal part of your routine.
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Being the parent of a child with autism is one of the most challenging things you will ever face.

No one - and I mean no one  - can do this alone.

The Resilient Pathway is the best set of skills and tools I've found to use to help my wife and myself live our best lives and be the best advocates, guides, and inspiration for our daughter.

I'm here to help.

I would love to meet you. Please schedule a call or write me an email using these forms, below.
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About Me
I have been fascinated by people all of my life. I started out my career as a counselor for victims of psychological trauma. Most people going through counseling for a psychological trauma report some level of recovery. However, I had the opportunity to work with a group of people whose recovery was so great that they developed extreme levels of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, cognitive flexibility, and Chronesthesia (mental time travel) that totally changed their lives.

Today, I call these people Resilients and have met and studied them all over the world.

Understanding the reasons behind what makes Resilients the people they are became an obsession for me and I've used what I learned from them and brain science research to create The Resilient Pathway.

After getting more training, I became a "people decoder" (psychological profiler) and began decoding people for some of the world's largest companies. I've had the opportunity to travel all over the world and have decoded more than 9000 people over the past decade. 

My life started a new chapter when one of our daughters was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Like most parents with a child on the spectrum, my wife and I dove into learning as much as we could to be of most help to our daughter. 

After meeting with many doctors, therapists, and other parents, we quickly started to feel overwhelmed and hopeless. This seems to be the way most parents with children on the spectrum start to feel.

It doesn't have to be this way.

We made a decision that we needed to choose a different pathway for ourselves, our daughter, and our family. We recognized that we are our daughter's greatest asset and need to be as strong, clear, and resilient as possible for ourselves and for her. 

I went from the teacher to the student and began using The Resilient Pathway I used to help others to start helping myself.

If Resilients are able to stay positive, productive, and strong during difficult times, than so could we. This journey doesn't have to be dark and scary. Not only could we handle it, we could enjoy it.

This mind set now infuses every part of our lives. Challenges are still there and more will come, but, we now meet them with hope and relentless determination instead of getting stuck in darkness and negativity. 

This is what The Resilient Pathway does. It can do the same for any parent taking this journey with their child.

My goal is to use my people decoding skills, the latest brain science, the wisdom of Resilients, and our experience with the world of autism to help parents with a child on the spectrum grow into the best version of themselves. They, their child, and their family deserve to live a life filled with hope and fulfillment. I am devoted to helping them create this reality.

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